Products That Fail -
I know I'll probably get a lot of hate
mail over this, but since when do I give
a sun-dried turd what you fucks think?
I don't give a fuck what you think, obviously,
which is why I'm going to say something
that I've been saying over and over again
for years. Ready? Give me a drumroll...
Anime is fucking stupid.
"Oh, how can you not like anime?
It's so awesome!" No, it's really
not. Maybe I don't like anime because
I have a social life and enjoy getting
laid. That, or maybe I just realize how
unbelievably moronic this form of animation
(and I use the word loosely) is. It's
been my experience that anime fans are
largely socially inept and a bit off in
I'll never understand anime fans. Almost
every anime fan I've met wants to be Japanese
so bad it hurts. I've known people so
into anime that they completely envelope
themselves in the Japanese culture. I'm
not joking when I say that I've met people
so crazy about anime that they've gone
so far as to take Japanese language classes
in hopes they'll one day speak fluent
Jap, visit Japan, and do... who knows
what. It's, like, "Dude, you're white
and you're American. You'll never be Japanese.
Get the fuck over it."
The ironic part of anime, which is Japanese
animation for those of you who live in
a cave, is that the characters are drawn
with caucasian features. Next time you
watch anime take a look at how the characters
are portrayed. They're all white with
exaggeratedly large eyes. Do you know
why they're drawn like this? They're drawn
this way because in Japan it's widely
believed that caucasians, specifically
white Americans, are the most beautiful
people on the planet. The majority of
the Japanese population hold caucasian
beauty in very high regard. Don't believe
me? It's a growing trend among Japanese
women to have their eyes surgically widened
so they can "look more American."
They undergo plastic surgery to literally
have their eyes widened because they believe
it's more aesthetically appealing.
So, basically, anime fans want to be Japanese,
yet the Japanese people drawing this anime
want to be American. Am I the only one
who sees the humor in that? It's absolutely
ridiculous. And, speaking of ridiculous,
the actual animation is complete garbage.
The characters barely move. It'll be a
minute of one character standing motionless
as their mouth moves in sporadic and exaggerated
bursts followed by a minute of another
character who's also standing motionless
minus their flapping mouth. When there
is actual movement it's usually crappy
and involves a bunch of seizure-inducing
flashing lights. The other day, whilst
channel surfing, I stumbled upon that
"Pokemon" show. After suffering
through five minutes of it I reached the
conclusion that it makes zero sense and
might be making children mildly retarded.
There is no discernable storyline and
the everything from the animation to the
voiceover work just plain sucks. I should
add that this is the show that was giving
kids seizures a few years back thanks
to its constant use of flashing lights.
In summation, anime is a bunch of bull
and the majority of anime fans are social
misfits who are desperately seeking something
cool they can cling to and make their
own. Like, "Wow, I'm part of an elite
group of super awesome people because
I watch anime!" Half of the people
who are supposedly into anime probably
don't even really like it. I mean, honestly,
how could they? It's a load of nonsensical